Ain't it funny
by madelinear
Summary: Songfic; set after 'The Pitch' but before 'One day I'll fly away'. Satine ponders


Ain't it funny  
by: Sugar Princess  
  
  


Disclaimer: Satine and Christian do not belong to me.  
Song: _Ain't it funny_, Jennifer Lopez  
  
Kara: My AOL account is Albanygrace@aol.com.   
  
As a little girl, Satine had always imagined the man she'd fall in love and marry. He'd handsome, rich, kind, romantic.  
  
_It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me   
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be   
  
_When she became a courtesan, those dreams were put on standstill. At first she had clung to her idealistic dreams, but eventually she had given them up.  
  
_But there are facts in our lives   
We can never change   
Just tell me that you understand and you feel the same _  
  
But then... that little writer. Christian.   
  
He had claimed to love her. Impossible, she had declared. He had known her for fifteen minutes, and he loved her.   
  
_This perfect romance that I've created in my mind   
I'd live a thousand lives   
Each one with you right by my side _  
  
It was cute. She liked him, she really did.   
  
But she was a courtesan. Love was not part of the job description. In fact, it was a part of the equation for disaster.  
_  
But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance   
And so it seems like we'll never have the change  
  
_Okay. So she liked him more than a little. She liked him a lot.  
  
But it was totally out of the question. He was who he was: naive, young, charming, talented... and she was who she was: tainted, lying, conniving, corrupted.  
  
_Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny   
And you can't stop move on even though you try   
Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel   
Oh, I wish this could be real   
  
****_If he doesn't matter, why can't you stop thinking about him? asked her common sense.  
  
**Because I'm... I'm worried about him. Yes, that's it. I'd hate to see his heart broken.  
  
Uh-huh. Lie to yourself much, Satine?**  
  
It was true. She couldn't stop thinking about him. She couldn't stop the blush from creeping to her cheeks. She couldn't stop the little flutter she had in her heart when he opened his mouth and started to sing.   
_  
Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life   
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right   
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part   
In the story of your heart   
  
****_Love isn't real. It's an illusion, a mass hallucination. There is no real love. If there was, then there would be no married men at the Moulin Rouge every night. There would be no heartbreak, Satine tried to convince herself.  
  
_Sometimes I think that a true love can never be   
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me   
Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain   
  
_No. Love was bad. Love screwed things up. What was the only rule of the Moulin Rouge? The only thing Harold had drummed into you for the past 6 years? **Do you learn anything, Satine?**_  
  
And I don't think that I could face it all again   
I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about_   
  
**You don't love him, **she said. **You don't love him. You don't love him. You don't love him.**  
  
Satine balled a fist and hit her vanity. **I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't. I can't.  
  
I do, I do, I do.  
  
I can't.**  
  
_A deeper love I've found in you   
And I no longer doubt   
You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made   
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid _  
  
Satine thought rationally. This would screw up everything. Her life. Her plans. Her dreams of being an actress, a dream only the Duke could make come true.  
  
She conjured up an image of Christian smiling at her, and she sighed. He was so handsome, and so sweet.  
  
_Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny   
And you can't stop move on even though you try   
Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel   
Oh, I wish this could be real   
  
_Oh, this was wrong. She would wind up destroying her life, and his.  
  
That one moment. The one moment she saw him and thought he was the Duke.  
  
A thunderclap.  
  
A lightningbolt._  
  
Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life   
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right   
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part_   
_In the story of your heart _  
  
In that one moment that she had opened her heart, he had darted inside.   
  
What did that mean? No one had ever done that. Ever.  
  
_I locked away my heart _  
_But you just set it free   
Emotions I felt   
Held me back from what my life should be   
_  
This was wrong, so wrong. It was going against everything she had said and down for... for years.  
  
And yet it felt so right._  
  
I pushed you far away   
And yet you stayed with me   
I guess this means   
That you and me were meant to be_  
  
Satine sighed unhappily. This seemed to be a no-win situation.   
  
**Can't live with him, can't live without him**, she thought bitterly.  
  
She looked out of her elephant, and saw him in his apartment window.  
  
Looking at her.  
  
A blush crept to her cheeks. Her heart started to flutter.  
  
**Oh yeah. I've got it bad.**


End file.
